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This was a running skit of a game show where the contestants are unable to answer any questions correctly. Eugene Levy, plays Alex Trebel, based on game show host Alex Trebec (Jeopardy). Alex starts by chatting with the contestants. The first category is articles of clothing found in a bedroom. The second is European cuisine. Alex decides to have the contestants pick a number from 1 to 10. Prize: seat covers from Vinyl World.
Strange Brew (1983) :
BEER is to the Canadian hopheads Bob and Doug (”Eh?”) McKenzie as marijuana is to Cheech and Chong, though Bob and Doug are by far the more infantile duo. (One of them, whenever he’s in trouble, actually sucks his thumb.) The McKenzies are the creation of two Second City TV veterans, Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas, who wrote, directed and star in ”Strange Brew,” a movie that’s barely there. The McKenzies are genial enough, and once in a while they’re vaguely funny. But their film is so ephemeral that you may hardly be aware of watching it, even while it’s going on. (NY TIMES)
Kids in the Hall (1992)
The most unusual episode in the set is Chalet 2000 in which Scott Thompson plays his two most famous roles, that of Buddy Cole and Queen Elizabeth II. In the skit, which lasts the entire episode, the Queen gets tired of photographers following her around and so she heads to Northern Canada to relax with her friend and confidant Buddy for a while. While she’s there she has a torrid affair with Buddy’s adopted son, a beaver played by Bruce McCulloch, and avoids a tabloid photographer named Lanky Dean (McKinney) who is still on the chase in hopes of capturing her in some rather unorthodox situations. This is a stellar episode full of all sorts of great little jokes but there’s one big problem with it – if you’re not Canadian, this isn’t very funny. (DVD TALK)
Tom Green on The Mike Bullard Show (1998)
“I threw up for 10 minutes. They had to stop tape for the first time ever,” Bullard said yesterday of Green pulling the rotting carcasses of a raccoon and a squirrel out of a sack on Wednesday night’s show. “Oh my God, there were maggots coming out of its nose. I was fine until the squirrel went flying by my head and I looked behind me and saw the intestines hanging out of it,” Bullard said.(JAM!)
Machotaildrop (2009)
Machotaildrop is ostensibly a skateboarding movie, but only in the same way that our parents’ home movies are about band/soccer/spelling bees and not embarrassment and failure. Or maybe its directors, Corey Adams and Alex Craig (winners of Fuel TV’s million dollar short film contest) realized that we’re all jaded by the conventional skate part-tour van-party-puke-skate part plot of most videos and that what we really need is an intertwined narrative that is equally Terry Gilliam and Paul Thomas Anderson and Rick McCrank’s facial hair. Accident or cinematic revolution, we’re excited about this development and look forward to seeing each of the bizarre scenes in this trailer played out in full glory. (FADER)
DH: I’m working on an article on Canadian Surrealism – so any suggested viewings/readings or timbits of enlightenment are MORE than welcome. I haven’t seen Machotaildrop yet, but it looks like it might fit well into the canon.
In Cho Chabudai Gaeshi, a new arcade game from Taito, the player has one very simple task: to flip over a chabudai, a short-legged round table. In Japan, the act of table flipping, or “chabudai gaeshi” is a common expression of anger among old-fashioned, middle-aged men. Cho Chabudai Gaeshi is specifically aimed at balding fathers who are perpetually infuriated with their disobedient and noisy families, but too timid to actually upend their real-world chabudais. What’s so interesting about Cho Chabudai Gaeshi is how mundane the gameplay is: The father sits at the table, pounding on it with his hands as his obnoxious children ignore him until finally, he flips it over and sends everything flying into the air, collecting points for every item destroyed in the wake of his moderately-violent outburst.
While it seems like a novelty, the workaday content of the game is a profound innovation that alters the very nature of gaming. Of course it’s fun and entertaining, but it could also be used as a form of domestic catharsis, a way to express one’s anger in an isolated virtual world before returning home from a tough day at work. I think we’re going to be seeing this sort of game pop up more often in the near future – games that allow the player to act out in situations very similar to their daily lives. Right now there’s a surplus of games where you can run around brutally murdering people, but 99% of these are completely fantastic and in no way pertain to the player’s actual experience. I can see a whole new genre blossoming out of Cho Chabudai Gaeshi – games where you get to destroy your office printer, push people in a crowded subway, throw things at your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse and so on. An alternate digital dimension allowing for constant emotional micro-management.
What I would most like to see is a game where you are playing a videogame, similar to first person Tetris, and get to break the controller and smash the system after failing repeatedly. That would have been really handy when I was 14.
Mix of the Month: Gilles Peterson and Thom Yorke back to back spinning Floating Points, Darkstar, Mingus, Sun-Ra, Doom, Madlib, Dam Funk and the rest of the gang.
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The world of words is currentlyundergoing a revolution of such magnitude not seen since one Johannes Gutenburg made type movable. The ebook device, whether in the form of a Kindle, Mac Tablet or any number of brands and styles, will eventually take over as the medium through which we read books. All books deemed digit-worthy will be digit-ized. But many books, truckloads actually, hundreds of thousands, will slip through the cracks and eventually get sucked through the vacuum of time, never to be read again. Most of these soon-to-be forgotten texts could surely be deemed as “shit”, so good riddance. But some of them, due to being out-of-print and too obscure to capture the attention of the digitizing agency, will be lost classics – chunks of thought and experience that will go the way of the Apalachee and the Kakadu.
One such book, recently given to me as a gift by the lovely Jules Moore (of Hobo fame, et al), is Bottoms Up: The How-to Guide to Booze, Babes & Bar Tricks. Since cracking the pages of this old tome to modern manhood, a bible of booze and babery, it has become somewhat of a sacred object, something I might carry in a leather satchel if I owned one. But I don’t so it sits on my desk, next to a bottle of navy rum, a pack of smokes and fresh deck of jimmies. As it stands, there are surely many copies out there in the world, but they will dwindle down to a few. Knowing that this book will likely be wiped from human consciousness sometime in the nearish future imbues it with a certain mystical quality. And so, in this age of instant access information overload, there’s something wondrous about owning a piece of language, neigh, wisdom, that is local to one’s self. It’s like my own tiny, private piece of an abandoned universe.
Here’s an excerpt for your reading pleasure:
THE PROSTITUTE:
You don’t run into as many hookers these days as you think you might. First of all, most of them have gotten off the streets and are using telephone answering services – cuts down on the wear and tear and eliminates both competition and two many dry runs before they find themselves a john for the night. Besides, it’s dangerous for both the girl and the bar owner. He loses more business than he gains when his place gets a reputation for being a hangout for hookers and she’s always in danger of being picked up for soliciting a vice cop by mistake. So if you’re looking for a hooker, bars are usually the wrong place – you won’t find that many operating around pubs anymore. But just in case, how do you tell a prostitute? Simple – She’ll tell you.
Depending on how eager or desperate she is for the trick will usually determine how rapidly she makes her pitch. She’ll size you up first – don’t let your ego get out of control; by sizing up, I mean she’s figuring out how much money she can get out of you, not your personal charm. Then she’ll make her pitch – well it’s not really a pitch, it’s a blatant out-and-out proposition. And if you’re hot to trot, then you’re on your way…
Cities are at their best when they are unknowable organic superstructures: fathomless depths of dive bars, crooked little cafés and dimly lit side-streets built on waves of wet pavement and light. The true megalopolis provides supreme anonymity to its dwellers. affording them the freedom to create their own psychic maps – personalized routes through a mutating labyrinth. Objective cartography, subway maps etc, are secondary to one’s own individual narrative. You choose your haunts, your pathways and your comrades, living a private life amidst 10 million unknowable others. But if a city imposes structure on the individual, rather than the individual on it – it becomes oppressive, a bore, predictable, a tedious slog through the hell of other people. This is the difference between Tokyo and Pyeongchang, between strip malls and street markets. Which is why I’m undecided about the benefits of geotagging and augmented reality. There are doubtless numerous ways in which emerging mobile technology can improve city life, but most are intended to demystify the city in order to impose order and surveillance on consumer behavior.
In the above video, a trailer for Nike’s True City campaign, the cityscape is transformed into a hybrid social-media-videogame, where the user navigates their way vis a vis Nike’s own privately curated cultural/commercial map. On a superficial level, True City is benign – it’s essentially a more advanced version of a promotional mailing list and a convenient way for Nike fanboys to interact and learn about new product. But if we look a bit closer it becomes problematic for two reasons:
A: It will destroy culture: True City presupposes that its users will be socially inept – who else would require such an application? There are magazines, newspapers and blogs (and friends) dedicated to keeping people informed on what’s hip, making True City a needless middleman for the those who are too lazy to exert any effort and require their experiences to be filtered through an iPhone application. But let’s suspend our disbelief for a moment and consider how the “hidden” becomes “visible”. The user gets dialed into True City, which has employed tastemakers to tell them to tell you which hip spots to check out. Or something. I don’t really understand what “inspired by insiders” actually means. But according to the video, if you follow the True City instructions, you will eventually wind up at an art gallery that has a disco bear and is filled with shirtless men. Yaaaay. You finally made it, you are now on the inside and all that was once hidden from your view is now visible. This is where True City runs into a very big problem: Once the “inside” is available to outsiders, it is no longer special or interesting, but just another homogeneous space, like a mall. True City Insiders function as informants – they discover something new and interesting, then distribute that information to the mouthbreathers who need to be informed and at the point of contact – when the True City user arrives at the previously unknowable disco polar bear art show, it ceases to be special. In this sense, True City disrupts the organic process that produces “hidden” events/space by exposing them to outsiders in real time.
An example: When I was in Paris earlier this year I spotted a very attractive girl smoking a cigarette on the street. I approached her and asked if I could have one, and we ended up going for a coffee. She then invited me to meet her at a bar later that night, which she described as “very special”. I agreed and went to the address she gave me, which was in a very unhip, out of the way part of town. The bar was very special, in fact it was the strangest bar I had ever been to, I would describe it but I was sworn to secrecy. The bar owner did not want any mention of her establishment on the Internet, and was not interested in publicity or an increase in business. She was content with the clientele she had, which was an eccentric bunch, many of whom were on a first name basis with each other. It was an intimate place – a key component to its “insideness”. I was lucky to have been brought into the fold by the girl, an individual True City would surely consider an “insider”. If I had been a shameless fuckhead and told the whole world about the bar, and as a consequence it gained a large amount of exposure, one of two things would have happened: the owner would have shut it down, sold it, or changed it to accommodate the increase in business and dilution of clientele. Either way, the original bar would have ceased to exist. This very common process that we’ve all encountered, illustrates why the premise of True City is flawed: once you expose the hidden, it is no longer hidden, which robs it of its value.
B: It will create corporate enclaves: Obviously the sole purpose of True City is to position Nike products at the centre of city life. In Nike’s best case scenario True City will usurp older mediums (newspapers, blogs) as a cultural navigation tool, allowing Nike to transform the purchasing of their products from being a mundane consumer act into a new form of social video game, which is hinted at in the trailer. From this perspective, True City is brilliant, because it will allow Nike to have a far more direct relationship with their market and by becoming a cultural mediator, Nike no longer needs magazines or blogs to communicate with consumers. But their market for such an endeavor is very slim, and I doubt it will attract anyone outside of the core fanboy demographic. But there is something much more interesting about the possibilities of geotagging/social-media/mobile device integration and that is the development of corporate, or private social enclaves. Theoretically, Nike could create a service where only subscribers have access to certain urban space – like private events that require secret QR codes, which can only be attained by True City subscribers. Something like this seems to be more in line with the absurd and often obsessive culture Nike has built around their limited-run shoes. It would also attract those that would be otherwise disinterested. For example – Nike pays Band X to play a tiny gig at a back-alley venue, and only those with a certain QR code may enter. This could be the future of elite consumerism and brand culture, wherein an entirely invisible network of urban space is made available only to those with the proper QR code.
Regardless, as the ideas and technology behind True City become more common, a new type of city will emerge – one that may or may not conform to the totalizing ideology of social technology. Or maybe that already exists and I’m just not reading the right blogs or buying the right shoes.
“n the late 1970s, small pockets of electronic artists including the Human League, Daniel Miller and Cabaret Volatire were inspired by Kraftwerk and JG Ballard and dreamt of the sound of the future against the backdrop of bleak, high-rise Britain.”
BBC 3: Tower Block Dreams (Pirate Radio/Grime)
BBC 4: Krautrock – The Rebirth of Germany
“Between 1968 and 1977 bands like Neu!, Can, Faust and Kraftwerk would look beyond western rock and roll to create some of the most original and uncompromising music ever heard. They shared one common goal – a forward-looking desire to transcend Germany’s gruesome past – but that didn’t stop the music press in war-obsessed Britain from calling them Krautrock.”
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